Motherhood: a state of being that brings with it new skills. Some are learned, some are thrust upon us and some we are forced to develop for ourselves. Either way, being a Mum will give you a whole host of new skills that you may (or may not) want to add to your CV.
Table Of Contents
Surviving on zero sleep
Remember how you were before you had kids if something had disturbed your sleep? How you couldn’t even function the next day? Well, once you become a Mum, being a sleep-deprived mess will become your normal state of being. The good news is, that you will cope anyway! Somehow you will manage to go about your day with zero sleep and still manage to keep yourself and your tiny humans alive.
Doing things with one hand
Doing everything with just one hand is a skill that you never needed pre-motherhood, but once you have a baby, you suddenly have to do most normal tasks without the use of one of your arms. Whether it’s cooking, cleaning, folding laundry, carrying shopping or taking your jeans off to wee, you’ll suddenly master the skill of doing it all using just one hand, as chances are, your baby will be permanently cradled within your other arm, thus rendering it useless.
It is entirely possible, in fact, that you will learn to do all of these things not only with one hand but while simultaneously feeding a baby. Clever you!
Peeing really quickly
Long trips to the bathroom alone? Mums don’t get those. Luckily you’ll learn to pee super quickly before the baby cries / toddler needs you / kids start attempting to murder each other again. Don’t ask me how, but this skill comes quite naturally to you once motherhood commences.
Repeating yourself
Saying things once will be a thing of the past once you’re a Mummy. Welcome to the phase of saying things over and over. And over. The good news is, that your sleep-deprived brain now has to think up fewer words overall. Yay!
Knowing all of the words to Peppa Pig
Think you’ll never be the kind of Mum who lets their kids watch Peppa Pig? Think again. That naughty little piggy must speak to kids on a frequency that us adults simply cannot hear because they ALL love her. No exceptions. So not only will you come to accept Peppa into your life, but you’ll soon be able to recite every word she’s ever uttered, (yes, you’ll have heard her that much). You may even come to think of her as a useful friend for those times where you do want your child to be happy enough for you to do one of those one-handed tasks we mentioned earlier, with, dare I say it, two hands.
Tuning out
Another skill that you will learn is the art of tuning out. “Row row row your boat” or other delightful little ditties that your little one wants on repeat all day long may in your pre-motherhood state, have driven you right up the wall. Oh no, now you will barely hear it.
Did you used to struggle with holding a conversation on the phone when surrounded by distractions? Once you’ve been dubbed “Mummy” this will never bother you again, as living in a zoo-like environment surrounded by a constant drone of noise will be your new normal. It’s silence that you’ll find unusual.
Loading the car like a Jenga tower
Were you ever any good at that game, Jenga? You know, the one where you carefully stack precarious bricks on top of one another in hope that you don’t cause the entire tower to collapse.
As a Mother, you will play this very game each and every time you leave your home and have to load the boot of your car prams and bags and rain covers and coats and bottles and snacks and the kitchen sink. Stacking your car with more stuff than it is really capable of holding will become a carefully honed skill in no time.
Packing for every eventuality
Were you in the Girl Scouts as a child? Where you were taught to “be prepared”? Either way, gone are the days of saying “Shall we go out?” then immediately leaving the house.
Now you’re a mother you will be biologically incapable of leaving the house without packing essentials that you will need in case the baby is hungry or thirsty or is wet, or bored or had pooped, or needs new clothes, in case it is sunny, or wet or some other type of weather. Whatever happens, you’ll be prepared for it.
Loving another human more than you ever thought possible
Yeah yeah, you’ve heard it before, but things usually become cliches because they are true. It is not until you become a mother that you really know what it is to love another being in such an all-consuming way. You will love your tiny humans so much that it physically hurts and brings you more joys than you could ever have imagined, all at once. Motherhood changes you, fundamentally, whether you want it to or not.
One thing that I can promise you though; your tiny humans that that force you to learn all these “skills” will make every second of the sleep depravation and the Peppa Pig and the taking your jeans off to pee with one had because you have a small person on your hip – totally worth it.
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