How To Build A Toy Kitchen In A Billion Easy Steps

“It’s here, it’s here, our toy kitchen is here!”.

Yes children, it’s very exciting, I know that you want to play with it straight away, but it will need putting together first. I think we’ll need Daddy to help.

Yes, that’s a good idea, you can get your toy tools and help Daddy. What a lovely thing to do together.

Let’s get everything out of the box. Gosh there are a lot of pieces aren’t there.

Yes, the instructions look quite extensive.

I don’t know how long it’s supposed to take Daddy, I don’t think it said in the online description when I ordered it. It can’t be that complicated.

Zara, screws are not food, if you can’t behave, you will have to go in the high chair.

Can we stop arguing over the toy tools please children? There are plenty to go around, there really is no need to fight.

I think that Bella had that toy drill first William.

I know that you like that one but Bella has it.

Oh Bella what have you done? Yes, the drill really does look quite broken now, doesn’t it.

Will, there’s no need to cry, I’m sure that it can be fixed.

Well I’m not sure Mummy can fix it right now and Daddy is working on your kitchen.

Right children, help Daddy find the bits that he needs next from this box. William, you find the parts on this list and give them to Bella who can put them here in this pile, ready for Daddy.

Children, if you can’t stop arguing over the toy tools, they will have to go away.

Yes Daddy, those round things do all look very similar, I don’t know how you’re supposed to know which is an 11F and which is a 19 either.

No, the instructions are not very clear.

Right, you two, I did say that if the arguing didn’t stop, then the toy tools would have to go away, I wasn’t joking.

It’s too late now, Mummy is putting the toy tools away.

Well maybe next time you will listen to Mummy and stop arguing. You will just have to help Daddy with other little jobs won’t you.

No, you can’t use Daddy’s real drill just because Mummy took yours.

Because it’s not safe, that’s why not.

What’s the matter Daddy?

Oh the instructions can’t really be that bad, can they?

Ah, I see what you mean. Ok, they are less than ideal, but they are all we have, so we’ll have tom make the best of them, won’t we.

Children, if you keep shouting, Daddy can’t concentrate on building your kitchen. Poor Daddy has been a this 20 minutes already and is still on the first page of instructions. I think we had better go in the playroom and let Daddy get on with it.

Yes, I know that you want to help, but I’m not sure smacking your brother your head and repeatedly asking if the kitchen is ready yet, counts as helping.

William and Bella, you play nicely here in the playroom, Mummy will take Zara to check on Daddy. I think he’s getting a little stressed.

Look Zara, Daddy is still working hard on your new kitchen. Well, I know that it doesn’t look much like a kitchen yet, but I’m sure it will soon.

No Daddy, that wasn’t a criticism, merely an observation.

Why can I hear screaming from the playroom? Why is Bella crying?

Well I did tell you that diving onto the bean bag off the sofa would end in tears, didn’t I? There there, you’re ok.

No need to cry, you’re fine. There’s no blood. Just listen to Mummy next time.

No, Daddy still hasn’t finished the kitchen.

Well, I know Daddy is normally quick at fixing things, but he said that it is a little bit of a pain.

Yes, Daddy is good at building things.

Yes, he built our whole house, I know. He says this is more complicated.

OK, OK, I know you are excited, let’s find out how much longer it might be.

Daddy, the children wanted to come and see how you were getting on. They were wondering how much longer it might be until they can play with it please.

Daddy, language! We don’t say those words in front of the children now, do we.

How about I get the children ready for bed, then they can have a quick play in their pyjamas.

Right little ones, let’s get you in the bath then into your pjs.

Calm down, if you are good getting read for bed, you can come back down for a quick play with the kitchen before story time.

I know that you don’t want to get ready for bed, but the kitchen still isn’t ready.

Yes, it has been ages. Apparently it’s a pain in the bottom of a job.

Yes, Mummy said bottom.

It’s not that funny, is it?

OK, OK, when you’ve finished laughing, it really is bath time.

Right, that’s everyone ready for bed. That only took nearly an hour to get you all bathed and dressed. I’m sure Daddy must be nearly finished by now.

Oh look at that children, it’s finished! What do we say to Daddy for all his hard work?

Well, I wasn’t thinking we should say “You look very grumpy Daddy?”. More along the lines of “Thank you for building our toy kitchen”.

It really is a very lovely kitchen, isn’t it children. You can have a little play before bed. What are you going to cook in your new kitchen?

Hmmm, cake and cucumber soup sounds very yummy. Do you think Daddy would like some?

You think Daddy would like a glass of pretend wine? By the look of Daddy’s face, I’m not sure pretend wine is going to cut it this evening darling.


Look out for a full review of the Kid Kraft Wooden Toy Kitchen coming soon.


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Comments 10

  1. Hilarious! So honest too, I could just picture it! I’m glad the kitchen was built eventually and that the children enjoyed playing with it. Long may it last!

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  2. God it does look complicated! But they look happy with the result so it’s got to be worth it, right? Thanks for linking up to #pbe

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      They love it, so it was totally worth it 😊 Thanks for hosting #pbe ! I’ll look forward to joining in again next week x

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