Parenting is tough. Parenting neurodiverse children comes with unique challenges, and while it’s incredibly rewarding, it can also be demanding. That’s exactly what I want to talk about today: burnout, why it happens, how I’ve experienced it firsthand, and what I’m doing differently to stay well and present for my family.
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Table Of Contents
The Unique Realities of Parenting Neurodiverse Children
We’ve all heard the phrase it takes a village when it comes to raising children. But what happens when you don’t have a village? Many parents today—especially those of neurodiverse children—find themselves taking on more responsibilities alone. In my case, my husband and I are the only ones who regularly care for our four children, all of whom have autism. They don’t stay away from home, and we don’t have grandparents who can step in and help. Everything falls on us.
Even for parents who do have family nearby, leaving their children with others often isn’t an option. Neurodiverse children thrive on routine, and unexpected changes can be overwhelming. Many parents feel they simply can’t leave their children in the care of others who may not fully understand their needs.
The reality is that parenting neurodiverse children requires careful planning, consistency, and emotional energy. That’s on top of the everyday responsibilities of modern parenting, where we’re expected to work like we don’t have kids and raise kids like we don’t have work. It’s understandable why so many parents feel stretched thin.
How Burnout Caught Up With Me
Looking back, I realise I was running on empty for a long time. Last year, I was constantly unwell—physically drained, run down, and unable to fully recover from even the smallest colds. From mid-October to mid-December, I was stuck in a cycle of illness, struggling to get through each day. I was on antibiotics, checking my temperature daily, and yet nothing seemed to help.
It reminded me of how I felt during COVID. I was homeschooling the kids, waking up at 4:30 AM to get my work done before they were awake, and carrying the entire mental and emotional load of our home. When I inevitably caught COVID, I was the sickest in the house and took the longest to recover. The same thing happened last year—I pushed through exhaustion, kept going despite my body needing rest, and paid the price with my health.
The Truth About Burnout
So why do we push ourselves to the brink? Because we’re doing it for our children. We want to give them the best experiences, stability, and opportunities. We work hard to provide for them, and we put our own needs last. But here’s what I’ve come to understand: when we burn out, we can’t show up as the parents we want to be.
When you’re physically and emotionally depleted, it’s impossible to be patient, present, and engaged. Burnout doesn’t just affect you—it impacts your entire family. I knew something had to change.
Reframing Self-Care: It’s Not Selfish
I’ve always struggled with the idea of taking time for myself. Whether it was during the workday or in the evenings, I felt guilty stepping away from either my work or my children. If I wasn’t actively earning money to support them, I thought I should be with them. Anything else felt selfish.
But then I started to hear the same message from multiple sources—books, coaching sessions, research—that taking time for yourself isn’t just nice, it’s necessary. Studies show that rest actually increases productivity. Engaging in hobbies unrelated to work or parenting can spark creativity, boost energy, and make you more present in all areas of your life.
The Ballet Experiment
So, I decided to put this to the test. I used to dance when I was younger, but I hadn’t done ballet in years. When my daughter’s ballet teacher announced a new adult class, I hesitated at first. Wouldn’t this take away from work? Shouldn’t I be using that time more “productively”? But I reminded myself—this was an investment in my well-being.
I went to my first class, and something clicked. As soon as I started moving, it felt like I had unlocked a part of myself I had forgotten. I walked out of that class energised. And you know what? Even though I had two fewer hours in my workday, I got more done than I had in ages. I was sharper, more efficient, and—most importantly—happier.
The Magic of Prioritising Yourself
It sounds counterintuitive, but when we take time for ourselves, we don’t fall behind—we thrive. The benefits ripple into every area of our lives. I came home from ballet feeling like a better version of myself. I had more patience with my kids, more energy for my work, and a renewed sense of joy.
So, I want to ask you—what’s something you used to love but haven’t made time for? What hobby, activity, or passion would make you feel alive again? If I could wave a magic wand and give you guilt-free time, what would you do with it?
Take the First Step
I challenge you to find a way—however small—to reintroduce joy into your life. Maybe it’s picking up a book, going for a walk, joining a class, or reconnecting with an old passion. Whatever it is, know that taking care of you is the best thing you can do for your family.
Burnout isn’t inevitable. But avoiding it means making changes—starting with giving yourself permission to prioritise your well-being. And trust me, once you do, everything else will start to fall into place.
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