If your child is going through the autism assessment process, it can feel like a lot. There is so much to navigate, a mountain of forms to fill out, and the whole thing can be quite stressful if I’m honest. When I first went through this process with my son William, I had no idea how much I would learn. What I didn’t realise at the time was that this journey with him would lead to me understanding all of my children better. Without it, I doubt my other three children would have been assessed and diagnosed.
Now, having been through the assessment process four times, I want to share what I wish I had known at the beginning. If you are currently in the middle of navigating an autism diagnosis for your child, I hope this will help you feel less alone, more prepared, and confident in advocating for them.
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Table Of Contents
The Early Signs That Made Me Question Autism
William was my second child, and as a baby, he was happy and content. He was a brilliant eater, and I did all the baby-led weaning that was supposed to help avoid picky eating. At first, he ate everything, but over time, his food choices narrowed. Eventually, he became incredibly rigid with his meals. He ate the same breakfast, the same lunch, and the same dinner every single day.
I wasn’t overly worried about his nutrition because he was still eating a balanced diet. His meals were healthy, and he was getting all the nutrients he needed. But the problem was, he wouldn’t eat anything outside of his routine. If we went out, I had to take his specific meals with us because he simply would not eat anything else. When we went to France, I packed enough pre-made meals for the entire trip and stored them in the freezer because I knew that otherwise, he wouldn’t eat.
Beyond food, there were other quirks. He had an extreme attachment to certain shoes, to the point where he would refuse to wear anything else. He had a pair of canvas doodles from Clarks, and every time he outgrew them, I had to buy the exact same pair in a bigger size. He would wear them in all weather conditions, including the snow. Trying to get him to wear wellies or even go barefoot on the beach would result in a complete meltdown.
There were also sensory issues. For a long time, he had an extreme fear of wrapping paper. Not only would he refuse to touch wrapped presents, but if he saw a toy being unwrapped, he wouldn’t go near it afterwards, as though it had been contaminated.
At the time, these things just seemed like quirks. I didn’t see them as red flags because, like many parents, I didn’t really understand what autism looked like beyond the most stereotypical signs.
The Realisation That He Might Be Autistic
William started school just after his third birthday in the nursery class of a primary school here in Wales. He was incredibly bright. He could read fluently in full sentences before he even started school, but he was also extremely independent and not particularly interested in engaging with others.
When I took him for his induction day, I remember saying to his teacher, quite flippantly, “He can already read, but you won’t get him to sit still, keep his shoes on, or join in with the other kids. I’m pretty sure he’s somewhere on the spectrum.”
I don’t know exactly when I first started suspecting autism, but I do know that I wasn’t fully accepting of it. A few weeks into school, his teacher pulled me aside and said, “I think you were right.”
Even though I had been the one to bring it up, I was still shocked to hear it. For about forty-eight hours, I went into complete denial. I found every possible reason why he wasn’t autistic. I convinced myself he was just gifted and that his intelligence made him behave differently. I even called the health visitor and had her agree with me that he was simply highly able.
When I took that conclusion back to his teacher, she simply said, “No, you were right the first time.”
That was the moment everything changed.
Pushing for an Assessment
Once I realised that William needed an assessment, I knew I had to act fast. At the time, in our area, children under five were assessed through the health system, while those over five were assessed through the education system. The latter was known for being much slower and harder to navigate.
I knew that if we waited too long, we would be stuck in the education system, so I pushed hard to get him assessed while he was still under the health visitor.
I managed to find the contact details for the consultant’s secretary and started calling her daily. I was always polite, but I was persistent. Eventually, I must have called enough times that the consultant herself rang me back.
On that phone call, she said something that stuck with me. She couldn’t diagnose over the phone, but she told me, “From what you’re saying, it does sound like we’re looking at autism.”
The Autism Assessment Process
The assessment itself was intense. There were multiple parts, including a social communication clinic, a speech and language assessment, and an ADOS assessment where William was observed through one-way glass.
This all happened over two days, which also happened to be the same days as his Christmas concert at school. One morning, he had his concert, then an assessment in the afternoon, and the next day it was the other way around. I remember thinking I was coping fine at the time, but my body told a different story. I developed a huge rash all over my face, like I had been contouring with acid. It was clearly stress.
When we received the diagnosis of moderate autism, I felt a mix of emotions. There was relief because I knew we had done the right thing, but there was also sadness. Not because of the diagnosis itself, but because I now had a list of things he would struggle with, and no parent wants to know that their child will face extra challenges in life.
The Moment I Knew They Were Wrong
Not long after his diagnosis, a woman from the NHS came to our house. She sat with me and told me I needed to prepare myself because William would never be in mainstream school.
I remember thinking, even in that moment, that she was wrong.
And she was.
William has thrived in mainstream school. He has had support along the way, but he has done incredibly well. That conversation taught me an important lesson. Professionals may have expertise, but I know my child. Parents know their children better than anyone else, and if your gut tells you something, trust it.
Why Early Intervention Matters
Looking back, I am so grateful that I pushed for William’s assessment when I did. The support he received made a massive difference, and the experience helped me understand autism so much better.
It also meant that when my daughters started exhibiting signs of autism—though in much more subtle ways—I knew what to look for. Without going through this with William, I doubt I would have pursued assessments for them.
Now, my children are thriving. William, the little boy who once wouldn’t eat anything new or speak to people, will now try any food on a menu and chat confidently. He is living proof of why early intervention matters.
Final Thoughts
If you are currently navigating an autism assessment for your child, trust your instincts. Push for the support they need, even if people around you don’t see the same things you do. You know your child better than anyone else.
For more resources, I’ve put together a list of 100 different signs of autism that I wish I had known about sooner. You can download it at mummyoffour.com/100asd.
You’re not alone in this journey, and there is support available. Keep going.
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